Now Accepting Applications for a new Best Friend

Here are the qualifications and job description-

Qualifications-
1. Must be willing to do arts and crafts with me.
2. Must not be competitive.
3. Must not be a gossip monger.
4. Must be willing to share clothes with me.
5. Must love my cooking.
6. Must not be a drama queen.
7. Must be easy to shop for.
8. Must back me up..every time.
9. Must not divulge my secrets.
10. Must have a positive attitude.
11. Must have an I.Q. higher than a brick.
12. Must be able to produce on-the-spot cover-ups and alibis.